Year of joys and fears
giving thanks for all of it —
it is what it is
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Year of joys and fears
giving thanks for all of it —
it is what it is
Thanksgiving will look different this year and that is out of our control...but what is within our control is how might we create new ways to give and receive gratitude, kindness and compassion?
Here are some suggestions -- what would you add to the list posted by Dear Pandemic? If you are looking for some guided mindfulness meditations, check out StressResources.com/resouces or my meditations on https://insighttimer.com/pam
From Dear Pandemic: "But what do we do with ourselves on Turkey day? Here are a few safer alternatives. Take your pick, or mix and match!
Have an outdoor gathering of local friends & family. You can spend some time together (keep it brief) and enjoy some hot apple cider or pie. Since you are not likely to be wearing masks while you eat and drink, keep your distance between household bubbles! Too cold? Have a bonfire--or just wear your snowmobile suit!
Secret Turkey your neighbors. Write anonymous thank-you notes and drop them in neighbors’ mailboxes. Challenge them to do the same to spread the spirit of thankfulness all over your neighborhood.
Have a food drive. Post on Nextdoor that you’re collecting donations, put a bin on your doorstep, and let people drop off non-perishable food. Then take it to the local food pantry.
Cook Thanksgiving dinner in advance and drop off trays to your family members. You can leave it on the porch or meet them at the door. Have your ingredients delivered from the grocery store and stock up on aluminum trays this week!
Do some mindfulness meditations that focus on gratitude. Just google “gratitude meditation” for dozens of options.
Take a pause and think about the things you’re not going to miss. The holiday season can be a lot of stress, expense, and extra work--and even sometimes seems like more work than it's worth. Maybe taking a year off is something to celebrate for you. Maybe there’s something you’re a little bit grateful to not be doing.
Donate the money you would have spent on hosting a big meal to your favorite charity.
Go for a wild turkey "hunt." In most parts of the country, you can find wild turkeys wandering the woods or even suburban neighborhoods! See if you can spot some. Or, go on a neighborhood walk and see if you can spot some turkey decorations. Note: wild turkeys are protected. Please do not actually hunt them without a license.
Take this pause to try out some new Thanksgiving recipes that might have been too risky for a big family event. Learn what was on the original Thanksgiving menu.
Run a virtual Turkey Trot. This one even has t-shirts and medals! https://www.thevirtualrunchallenge.com/virtual-turkey.../
Learn (maybe for the first time) about the real history of Thanksgiving and the central role of the Wampanoag native people in that harvest. Find out what native people inhabited the place where you live before Europeans arrived. You could even make a recipe from their food tradition to honor the important role that Native Americans played in the origin story of the United States, at tremendous expense to native ways of life. https://www.nytimes.com/.../thanksgiving-myths-fact-check...
Perhaps most importantly: ask yourself what this holiday really means to you. Is it family? Then commit to protecting your family this year. Is it pie? Well then by all means, enjoy some pie! Do the things that mean the most to you in a way that satisfies you. Be sure to ask your kids what the holiday means to them, too--it will probably give you a whole new perspective on Thanksgiving!”
Wishing you a time of giving thanks — Stay safe, be well and take care…Pam
“For too many physicians, that conversation is hard to have, and families, too, are reluctant to initiate a discussion about what Mom or Dad might want until they’re in a crisis, which isn’t the best time to make these kinds of decisions. Ideally, that conversation should begin at the kitchen table with family members, rather than in a doctor’s office.”It’s a conversation you need to have wherever and whenever you can – and the more people you can rope into it, the better!! Make this conversation a part of your Thanksgiving weekend – there will be a right moment – you just might not realize how right it was until you begin the conversation.
Things we are grateful for this year
For three years running now, many of us bloggers have participated in what we’ve called a “blog rally” to promote Engage With Grace – a movement aimed at making sure all of us understand , communicate, and have honored our end-of-life wishes.
The rally is timed to coincide with a weekend when most of us are with the very people with whom we should be having these unbelievably important conversations – our closest friends and family.
At the heart of Engage With Grace are five questions designed to get the conversation about end-of-life started. We’ve included them at the end of this post. They’re not easy questions, but they are important – and believe it or not, most people find they actually enjoy discussing their answers with loved ones. The key is having the conversation before it’s too late.
This past year has done so much to support our mission to get more and more people talking about their end-of-life wishes. We’ve heard stories with happy endings … and stories with endings that could’ve (and should’ve) been better. We’ve stared down political opposition. We’ve supported each other’s efforts. And we’ve helped make this a topic of national importance.
So in the spirit of the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend, we’d like to highlight some things for which we’re grateful:
Thank you to Atul Gawande for writing such a fiercely intelligent and compelling piece on “letting go” – it is a work of art, and a must read.
Thank you to whomever perpetuated the myth of “death panels” for putting a fine point on all the things we don’t stand for, and in the process, shining a light on the right we all have to live our lives with intent – right through to the end.
Thank you to TEDMED for letting us share our story and our vision.
And of course, thank you to everyone who has taken this topic so seriously, and to all who have done so much to spread the word, including sharing The One Slide.
Engage with Grace: One Slide Project
Wabi-sabi Thanksgiving table at the Gould's
The pumpkin pie will have a crack in the middle, and the crust will not be flaky or gourmet. It will be made by Sam, and her middle school recipe from 7th grade. Store bought crust and easy canned ingredients. It will be tasty though, and we will only have a few more years of Sam's pumpkin pie to enjoy before college sweeps her away.
Daniela's cranberry sauce will consist of a bag of berries, and a cup of sugar, maybe some orange zest... if we happen to have oranges around. It will end up cooling in what ever bowl is around at the time. May even end up in a plastic cup, if that is the easiest for her 11 year old hands to work with.
Derrick's turkey will be stuffed with a loaf of ripped up white bread with paprika, mushrooms and some chopped onions. His mother's recipe from her Hungarian mother.
None of these dishes will be beautiful, or gourmet, or color coordinated. But, years from now, the picture of the imperfection, or wabi-sabi table will bring back wonderful memories of our family Thanksgiving.